The man who would've owned all of Jamaica

MY job has afforded me the privilege of meeting some fairly crazy people, like the madman who rang the news desk shrieking that a prominent politician was going to kill him. That same caller eventually started a ponzi scheme in which people reportedly lost millions of US dollars.

But for everyone like him there's countless more inhabiting the capital's rum bars with their own stories of disenfranchisement to tell. The least you can do is buy them a drink. Like the man below (from the Jamaica Observer).


A few weeks ago, when Usain Bolt was awarded the Order of Jamaica, there was a small interruption to the ceremony when a Rastafarian man was ejected from King's House. A few days later my friend met this gentlemen who proceeded to give him the full story:

Man: "A me man. Dem dishonour me still."

Friend: "Er, okay."

Man: "A mi man. Ever, Ever-ton. New name Dat, forever it mean, for all time. Everton. Forever, forever..."

Friend: This guy is kind of crazy... could be interesting.

Man: "What dem never know is dat mi a Nanny great-grandson and so everyting in Jamaica is bequeath to I and furthermore when I go Collie Smith High in Trench Town mi did buy all the rights for all dem ting dere like Vale Royal but me just leave black people fi have it. So, because I leave it with dem for so many years dem get to think seh it fi dem own so I come back to King's House now to talk to the Governor General about the situation and when I come back they never deal with mi like a prince, like royalty.

"Anyway, I walk go into King's House and some policeman seh, 'What are you doing here?' So I tell dem, but I never listen to dem, so I proceed to walk towards the Governor-General and they proceed to forcibly pull me out. Dem never beat mi up or anything but I never think that this is right.

"The whole world need to know that next time when I come they must treat mi with respect."